How to find out what you are really good at and live your life to the full?
Following on from my previous post on perfectionism, here is another radical idea that will guarantee to give your self esteem a boost and a quick start to a new path – individual uniqueness.
We are all one of a kind with many great strengths, and to find your REAL calling in life, you must identify what comes naturally to you.
This will not only help you to chose a profession that you are truly passionate about, but it allows you to live by your values, and you can stop trying to be someone else.
Why you don’t want to be like someone else
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.
What a genius, and liberating idea! If you understand the meaning behind this, it can be a turning point that allows yourself to let go of a lot of baggage. Pause for a while. Reflect on what your true purpose and passion is in this world.
Your education starts early
We live most of our lives aspiring to be like others; we think we will be happy when we reach a certain weight, when we have the car of our dreams, the comfortable home and whatever your heart desires. But what if we gave ourselves the chance just to be who we are meant to be and develop naturally as it was intended?
It is not that easy, I hear you say. We have never discovered our individual uniqueness and how to be ourselves. I empathise. Our ‘training’ starts in the kindergarten:
- we learn how to blend in,
- to obey the rules and do as we are told,
- those who are too different are cast out.
No wonder by our adult years we have mastered the art of obedience and left feeling unfulfilled and unhappy.
Do not be a clone!
Society likes clones and those who follow the crowd. We are not encouraged to know, or to be proud of what we are good at. And to top it off, it is drummed into us, that to better ourselves, we must focus on our weaknesses. I welcome you to do the opposite:
- find your strengths
- stand out from the crowd.
There is a simple reason for this. It is impossible to work on all our weaknesses. I mean where do we even start? By who’s judgement? Each and every person has a different idea on what the correct values in life are.
Concentrating on our strengths and natural talents, our lives can become so much easier. When you allow yourself to be who you are, you do not have to pretend. It is a releaf. We live our potential.
When you are in ‘flow’ (or in the zone) tasks become a breeze, as if you were playing. Is this really possible? You bet!
Find Your Uniqueness
If you are at this point wondering, “what are my true strenghts and talents?”
Here’s some ways to get you unstuck.
The first exercise to do: is to imagine yourself being stripped naked, in the middle of an empty field. Now start taking away the possessions most people would identify you by (including you!), one by one. Cars, property, spouse, job, wealth etc…), and now you can begin to see who you really are. What are you left with? Some great qualities, you cannot deny having.
To drill deeper: think about what you cannot help yourself doing. A task you easily get lost in, the time flies when you are doing it, and doesn’t require effort on your part. These come so easy for you to do, almost feels like you are cheating!
Perhaps you can use your logic to solve complex situations, or you can make anyone feel at ease when talking to them. Maybe you put together the most imaginative meals in seconds, but you continue to believe that anyone can do that!
What I have found out about myself with this method, was that I am a helpful, understanding and reliable person.
These characteristics have followed me all through my life, even though I have never put these into words. I never gave them any credit to exist, and I was even trying to smother them, because I believed these were weaknesses and that people just take advantage of me!
Now that I know this, I am freed from the burden of trying to please everyone, but also to help those who need it.
That is the sort of thing you need to look for; your uniqueness lies in your strengths, it is very easy for you to do, with almost no effort, and you probably don’t even notice you have it. Whatever you create is top quality in these moments, when you are in line with your best self.
So have a think about what you are best at, do more of it and you will arrive at home!
It will also boost your confidence and self esteem immeasurably.